That Little Thing
Welcome to the May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have waxed poetic about how their parenting has inspired others, or how others have inspired them. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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I am conflict-averse, particularly when it comes to the internet. I understand that some of my parenting beliefs diverge from the mainstream and might arouse debate. This is why I generally keep my more controversial opinions to myself unless I know my audience is receptive. So when I recently posted a pro-intactivism message on my Facebook status, I did so with trepidation.
Would I be heckled? Would I receive jeers? Would someone call me offensive and de-friend me?
I mulled over the possibilities.
The post remained largely ignored on my Wall.
Then I received a response from a friend from my undergraduate days.
The simple note said, “Thank you for the information. I had no idea.”
Later I found out that she had a discussion with her fiance about not circumcising any future sons. She also got others in her immediate social circle talking about it too.
I have no idea how many people paid attention to that Facebook status. I have no idea how many dismissed it or were offended by it. I do know that my seemingly tiny act caused a ripple effect of education and action.
So I guess it’s true — the little things do count.
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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- Woman Seeking Inspiration — Seeking Mother’s struggles and joys to find her own path in motherhood have inspired others — to her surprise! (@seekingmother )
- Paving the Way — Jessica at This is Worthwhile makes a conscious effort every day to be a role model. (@tisworthwhile )
- No Rules Without Reason — The Recovering Procrastinator wants to inspire her husband to discipline their children gently. (@jenwestpfahl)
- Creating a Culture of Positive Parenting Role Models — Michelle at The Parent Vortex shows parents at the playground how to do a front wrap cross carry and tells nurses about her successful home births, as a way of modeling natural parenting in public. (@TheParentVortex)
- Making A Difference for Mamas — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest took an embarrassing pumping incident at work and turned it into an opportunity for all the employees who breastfeed.
- Inspiring Snowflakes — Joni Rae at Tales of Kitchen Witch Momma is a role model for the most important people: her children. (@kitchenwitch)
- Paying it Forward — Amber at Strocel.com inspires new (and often scared) mamas with these simple words: “It will be OK.” (@AmberStrocel)
- A SAHD’s View on Parenting Role Models — Chris at Stay At Home Dad in Lansing doesn’t have many role models as a SAHD — but hopes to be one to his daughter. (@tessasdad)
- Am I a Role Model? A Review — Deb at Science@home brings attachment parenting out of the baby age and shows how it applies (with science fun!) to parenting through all of childhood. (@ScienceMum)
- Say Something Good — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick reminds women that it is within our right to be proud of ourselves without apology. (@RaisingBoychick)
- Try, Try Again — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis wants to inspire like the Little Engine that Could.
- I’m a Parenting Inspiration, Who Knew? — Sarah at OneStarryNight has received several beautiful comments about just what an inspiration she has been, if not in real life then definitely online. (@starrymom)
- That Little Thing — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing demonstrates the ripple effect, one status update at a time. (@BlkWmnDoBF)
- How Has Your Day Been? — mrs green @ littlegreenblog inspired her friend to be an active listener for her children. (@myzerowaste)
- No, Thank You! — If you are reading Maman A Droit’s post, you’ve probably inspired her. (@MamanADroit)
- My Top 3 Natural Parenting Principles — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now describes how her family’s natural and Montessori principles inspired others. (@DebChitwood)
- My Hope for a Better Life — Mandy at Living Peacefully With Children hopes her choices inspire her children toward a better life.
- Natural Parenting Felt Natural — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes didn’t plan on natural parenting — but her son led her there. (@sheryljesin)
- Rest. Is it even possible? — Janet at where birth and feminism intersect has found that even role models need rest — and that there are ways to fit it into everyday parenting life. (@feministbirther)
- May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model — Lauren at Hobo Mama was the fortunate recipient of a seed of inspiration, and has been privileged to plant some of those seeds herself, though she didn’t know it at the time. (@Hobo_Mama)
- crunchspiration — the grumbles at grumbles and grunts wants to inspire others to parent from their heart. (@thegrumbles)
- No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak)
- Upstream Parenting — Luschka at Diary of a First Child blogs for that one mother in one hundred who will find her words helpful. (@diaryfirstchild)
- Parenting Advice for the Girl from Outer Space — If Mommy Soup at Cream of Mommy Soup could give one piece of inspirational advice to new parents, it would be to parent with kindness. (@MommySoup)
- Natural Parenting Carnival — Role Model — Sarah at Consider Eden feels the pressure at trying — and failing — to live up to her role models. (@ConsiderEden)
- May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role Model — Dionna at Code Name: Mama encourages natural parenting mamas to take joy in the fact that they are touching lives and making a difference to children every day. (@CodeNameMama)
- Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom)
- My Seven — Danielle at born.in.japan has identified seven role models in her life who brought her to natural parenting. Who are your seven? (@borninjp)
- A Quiet Example — Alison at BluebirdMama was one of the first parents in her group of friends — and has come to see almost all those friends follow in her natural birthing footsteps, whether intentionally or not.
- Gentle Discipline Warrior — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries has inspired a gentle discipline movement — join her! (@babydust)
- Change The World… One Parent At A Time — Mamapoekie is more comfortable inspiring parents online than she is in real life. (@mamapoekie)
- Inspirational Parenting — pchanner at A Mom’s Fresh Start has intentionally tried to be a role model but was unprepared for how soon someone would take notice. (@pchanner)
- My Inspiration — Erin at A Beatnik’s Beat on Life has written thank-you letters to everyone who’s inspired her to become the lactivist and natural parenting advocate she is today. (@babybeatnik)
Posted on May 11, 2010, in Blog Carnival, Intactivism, Natural parenting. Bookmark the permalink. 29 Comments.
Awesome. I feel the same way – to me, the one comment I get every few weeks that someone somewhere out there has reconsidered circumcision or weaning or elective cesarean section – that one comment is worth all of the hours I pour into my site.
Absolutely. The internet has changed communication, we now throw our rocks into the void and often don’t know if they hit the ocean to cause a ripple or hit the beach with a thud. But the ocean we can reach is so much vaster, and every now and then a little wave comes back to us, making it all worthwhile.
That is awesome! You never know 🙂
I love getting the word out about keeping our babies intact. I also have that Facebook trepidation (and real-life-conversation trepidation), but if I keep my mouth shut, then what good is that? I can’t change anything by remaining silent. I’m so glad you got that wonderful comment.
Well done! I will admit, I am pretty conflict-averse myself. I avoid it at nearly all costs. It has surprised me to see, though, that when I share my beliefs I generally get positive feedback from others. I’m glad that you got some, too.
Oh yes, count me in the “not liking conflict” club! That is so great that your statement caused a positive impact on others!
After many confrontations over why I post “so much crap about breastfeeding” on Facebook, I’m a bit weary of doing so anymore. But I’ve had a couple people who I never would have thought would even CONSIDER breastfeeding approach me over it asking advice about it. They saw that not only do I just breastfeed, but I’m passionate about it – enough so that I’ve had to remove people from my friends list over it. (I’m sorry, but if you tell me to “just shut up and pop a bottle in that kid’s mouth,” you’re not a friend.)
Yes, sometimes posts like that can draw lines in the sand that you weren’t aware were there, but sometimes that’s a good thing. I’ve learned a great deal about the people I know by their reactions to some of the things I’ve said when I thought I’d be better keeping my mouth shut. It’s not all good, but a great deal of it has been good.
Give your friends the benefit of the doubt. It is the little things that matter and they are your friends for a reason. Surely they will appreciate your thoughts. And if not, perhaps you’ve learned the most important thing about them in regards to your friendship.
That’s great that you spread the word about something so very important. There is a difference between sharing and judging. To share information and allow others to draw their own conclusions is always acceptable, I think.
We also chose not to circumcise our son. It was easy, it isn’t routinely done in Japan where he was born. If we would have wanted him circumcised we would have had to take him to a special doctor. (Not that we wanted it anyways.)
When my mom came to visit us, shortly after the birth. She had mentioned that a friend of hers had commented that since our little guy was born in Japan he wouldn’t be circumsized. The conversation progressed and, eventually, it came out that my husband isn’t either. She was shocked! And then she asked the inevitable, though frustrating, question. “Aren’t you plagued by constant infection?!” OY!
“Aren’t you plagued by constant infection?” ?!? Just had to comment again to echo your Oy, Danielle!
It’s like when my husband had his hair in dreads, and someone honestly came up to him and said, “But what about flies?”
That story gave me goosebumps. We just never know, do we! I had a fantastic experience at a mum’s group recently. A woman who hardly ever speaks to me and largely just ignores me and has for 8 months said to me in front of the whole group what valuable source of information I am and how much she learns from me. I was too shocked to say anything! Thanks for sharing this – it inspires me to keep going.
Wonderful! We never know, do we?
SO cool! You really just never do know – particularly in a forum like FB – who is listening and taking note. Thanks for the encouragement!
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