Gathering my bearings

This week marked the 44th Independence Day for Barbados. I meant to post about it, but I couldn’t muster the energy.

This week marked the end of NaNoWriMo 2010. I lasted about a week and a half into the month. I could never find a groove for my novel. I meant to post about what I learned from the experience but I couldn’t muster the energy.

This week marked World AIDS Day. I didn’t forget about it. I didn’t get to go to any events marking the observance. I meant to post about it but I couldn’t muster the energy.

This week marked a personal crisis for me. The kind of crisis that led me to Youtube so I could listen to Nina Simone songs, with a hint of Nancy Sinatra and Gladys Knight. The kind of crisis that has me questioning my past, present and future. What’s interesting to me is that I seem to be handling this crisis with a degree of calm and patience that I would have found ludicrous in my younger days. What’s frightening to me is the possibility that my calm and patience aren’t really calm and patience. Because really, I should be gnashing my teeth and rending my clothes. I should be shut up in a darkened room somewhere crying my eyes out. Instead, I’m being reasonable. I’m making smiley faces at Baby E. I’m continuing life as close to normal as possible.

Image: graur codrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I’m holding onto the bottom and trying my damnedest to make sure it doesn’t fall out from under me.