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Dear Toddler: I forgive you

Dear Toddler,

I forgive you for:

  • Pulling a box of freshly delivered pizza to the floor before anyone could get a slice 
  • Peeing on the carpet and then laughing about it
  • Pooping on the bed
  • Biting my nipple
  • Pulling my hair
  • Laughing when I shriek “Ouch!”
  • Practicing your ability to echo your voice at 2 AM
  • Headbutting me in the mouth
  • Throwing my jewelry down the stairs
  • Writing on the wall
  • Sneezing on my face
  • Unplugging the cable box in the middle of a good show
  • Taking an anti-nap stance

I forgive you because I love you.

I forgive you because you’re only 17 and half months old and you act like it.

I forgive you because I’m not perfect and I probably need to be forgiven for a few things (needs a whole other post).

I forgive you because we’re in a symbiotic relationship.

I forgive you.

Love,

Mama

Soapbox Sunday — Parenting Insights

Light bulb moment!

Raise your hand if you were very sure what kind of parent you were going to be before you had kids?

Raise your hand if you were very sure what kind of parent you were going to be at each stage of your kid’s life beforehand?

I’m raising both hands on both accounts.

One thing I’m learning in this parenting gig is that I’m always learning. I have a core set of values that form the base of my parenting but I’m always fine-tuning them as I go along.

This week’s Soapbox Sunday features some writings that I found insightful about parenting.

BlackGirlinMaine talks about what she’s learned having raised an almost 19 year old and now raising a 5 year old.

Gina, The Feminist Breeder has a message for newer moms who judge other moms who have difficult toddlers — “Just wait!”

Lauren, at Hobo Mama, talks about why she’s not as fabulous a parent as her blog might make her seem and why that’s ok.

Dionna, at CodeName:Mama shares tips for encouraging children to apologize with sincerity instead of forcing them to say sorry.

Darcel at The Mahogany Way talks about the importance of play in her children’s lives.

Sparky of Spark in Darkness has a guest post over at Womanist Musings about the folly of sheltering children from LGBT people.

What kind of parenting insights have you discovered?

Catchphrase Me if You Can

If you’ve ever paid attention to the world of television pop culture you’ve probably noticed a little thing known as a catchphrase. A catchphrase makes television shows and characters memorable in a time when our collective attention spans add up to nil. As reality shows burgeoned, particularly the ones that are dramas disguised as competitions, the catchphrase seems to have flourished. What would Project Runway be like without host, Heidi Klum, uttering “You’re out!” to ousted fashion designers? And who could forget, ” You are the weakest link! Goodbye!”

But if you’ve ever wished to coin a new catchphrase, you don’t need to go on television to do so. You only need two ingredients – a child and exasperation.

The parental catchphrase is not new. It pre-dates the reality show boom by several years, perhaps having been born the moment our prehistoric ancestors acquired language skills. Indeed, some of us may remember hearing certain nuggets throughout our childhood.

You have until the count of three!

Because I said so!

In some cases, these parental catchphrases follow us into adulthood. The hubby, C, is known to playfully rile his mother up just so she’ll sigh her famous, “Ugh, C!”

Really, Baby E? Really?

Lately, I’ve discovered my own catchphrase. As I deal with my son’s burgeoning independence and interest in all things contraband and off-limits, I find myself repeating, “Really, Baby E? Really?”

A few examples:

Baby E insists on investigating the electrical cords under my computer desk despite my attempts to block him…

Really, Baby E? Really?

I put Baby E in his exersaucer so I can take a restroom break and he uses it as an opportunity to have a mini-meltdown…

Really, Baby E? Really?

Baby E bites me and then laughs when I yell, “Owwww!”…

Really, Baby E? Really?

It’s a catchphrase for just about any situation! I predict that I’ll be using it for years to come. In fact, I promise to not be surprised when Baby E turns it back on me with a “Really, Mama, Really?”

What’s your parental catchphrase?

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