Sleep is for suckers!

At 12:30 am, Baby E got his second wind.

Ten minutes earlier he’d fallen asleep in my arms while nursing. I carried him upstairs, a balancing act so delicate that Olympic gymnasts are in awe. I carefully placed him onto our bed while silently reciting The Mother’s Prayer, “Please stay asleep, please stay asleep…” Then came the awful sound — a whimper.

Damn.

I quickly stuck a nipple in his mouth and hoped the act of sucking would comfort him back to sleep. And comfort him it did, enough to make him act like a baby on speed. As a responsible parent I would never give my baby uppers — I actually need him to go to sleep.

I finally said, “Baby E, please go to sleep.”

“Sleep? That’s so 2009! I’ve got more important things to do,” He giggled maniacally.

“Like what?”

“Like babbling as loud as I can…and, and, and  I want to crawl off the edge of the bed…and, and, I want to pull  your hair… really hard!”

“Yeah, that sounds great but do you think you could do that in about 12 hours instead?”

“Why? I don’t see you coming to bed.”

“I don’t want to come to bed now. I’m a grown up who needs her space sometimes.”

“And I’m a cute baby who needs his mommy all the time. Besides, sleep is for suckers!”

“You’re right, how about I nurse you again.”

“You know I can’t say no to milk…” Suck, suck, suck…”But you can’t make me go to…” Suck, suck, suck…”Zzzzzzzzzzz!”

So we lay there in the quiet night, attached by the boob; both of us suckered into sleep.