Sleep is for suckers!
At 12:30 am, Baby E got his second wind.
Ten minutes earlier he’d fallen asleep in my arms while nursing. I carried him upstairs, a balancing act so delicate that Olympic gymnasts are in awe. I carefully placed him onto our bed while silently reciting The Mother’s Prayer, “Please stay asleep, please stay asleep…” Then came the awful sound — a whimper.
I quickly stuck a nipple in his mouth and hoped the act of sucking would comfort him back to sleep. And comfort him it did, enough to make him act like a baby on speed. As a responsible parent I would never give my baby uppers — I actually need him to go to sleep.
I finally said, “Baby E, please go to sleep.”
“Sleep? That’s so 2009! I’ve got more important things to do,” He giggled maniacally.
“Like babbling as loud as I can…and, and, and I want to crawl off the edge of the bed…and, and, I want to pull your hair… really hard!”
“Yeah, that sounds great but do you think you could do that in about 12 hours instead?”
“Why? I don’t see you coming to bed.”
“I don’t want to come to bed now. I’m a grown up who needs her space sometimes.”
“And I’m a cute baby who needs his mommy all the time. Besides, sleep is for suckers!”
“You’re right, how about I nurse you again.”
“You know I can’t say no to milk…” Suck, suck, suck…”But you can’t make me go to…” Suck, suck, suck…”Zzzzzzzzzzz!”
So we lay there in the quiet night, attached by the boob; both of us suckered into sleep.